The expat life offers many delights but one element I’ve found challenging? Being stuck in the role of a “trailing spouse.” Yes it’s 2015. And yes, this term is still used widely.
Maybe it’s just my ego (I don’t necessarily excel at taking the back seat) but I think it’s more than that. It’s something to do with a sense of self and career being an integral part of identity and–sure–ego.
I find the term “trailing spouse” off putting because it suggests my sole career–and identity–is being a spouse (and a trailing one at that!). I loved this blog post on The Trailing Spouse Identity Project about the challenges of life, career, and identity as a trailing spouse, and how to stay positive and seize the opportunities it presents. The author astutely explains what I’ve struggled to convey:
What we do for a living is an inherent and (un)conscious factor in how we value ourselves— whether we judge it in terms of contribution to society or the money we make. When I stopped work I lost the measuring unit or reference point for judging the value of ‘me’.
Love this post and plan to start following the Time of Tea blog – check it out!
And shine on!